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Episodes / Parenting

84: The Lies We Believe About Parenting

January 20, 2020

On the surface, believing the lie that you are who you raise doesn’t seem too bad, since involvement in your child’s life is better than neglect. However, underneath the surface, this lie frauds us into believing that our children’s success is our success. And their failure is our failure.

Are we the ones that are ultimately in control over the destiny of our children? Can we shape and mould them into our image and likeness? Do we have the power to sustain them? Outwardly, of course, we would blurt out, “NO!” But inwardly, we may be sitting with a lie that actually tricks us into believing that our self-worth is tied directly to our children.

In Episode 84, Daniel and Christina unpack two of the common lies that we believe about parenting reframed as half-truths: You are who you raise and You are what you know. These two are from Daniel’s new book, You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies about Work, Life, and Love.

Grab Your FREE Guide to Setting a SMART Goal:

  • This printable will help you set and achieve your goals in 2020. We can’t wait to hear all about the goals you have smashed this year!

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

  • Daniel’s latest book, You Are What You Do and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, & Love
  • The lies we believe about parenting
  • The vicious cycle we create when we believe the lies that you are who you raise and you are what you know
  • Why we need to overcome these lies and how to overcome them

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

  • Grab a copy of Daniel’s new book, You Are What You Do and Six Other Lies About Work, Life, & Love
  • Listen to Episode 82: The Lies We Believe About Ourselves where we go more into depth about the lies “You are what you do” and “You are your past”
  • Catch up on Episode 83: The Lies We Believe About Marriage were we discuss the lies: “You are who you know” and “You are what you experience”

Quotables & Tweetables:

  • “If media, which includes YouTube, has become the number-one influencer for our children’s career choices, what are the implications?” @danielsangi
  • “And then one day we realize that we have no idea why we are doing what we’re doing. And when it comes to parenting, that’s a scary place to be.” @danielsangi
  • “You are who you raise: This lie is so dangerous because it deceives you into believing that parenting ought to be your all and everything. That your children should be the center of your universe.” @danielsangi
  • “On the surface this lie, “You are who you raise” doesn’t seem too bad, since involvement in your child’s life is better than neglect. However, underneath the surface, this lie actually tricks you into believing that your self-worth is tied directly to the performance of your children.” @danielsangi
  • “This lie, “You are who you raise” frauds you into believing that your children’s successes your success. And their failure is your failure.” @danielsangi

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Daniel and Christina Im
about us

Daniel and Christina Im

We’re Daniel and Christina Im. Our heart’s desire and mission is to give you the tools to build a strong, connected, and joy-filled marriage and family.

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In a compelling analogy from Episode 198 of our IMbetween Podcast, our guest @davidsunde describes parents as “tour guides” rather than “travel agents” in their children’s faith journeys. Unlike travel agents who arrange logistics from afar, tour guides walk with their children through every high and low. This metaphor highlights the importance of presence and shared experiences in nurturing faith. By being there for the everyday moments, parents can provide authentic guidance and support, much like God’s nature as Emmanuel—“God with us.” It’s an insightful shift in perspective that’s worth reflecting on.

Listen to Episode 198 wherever you get your podcasts, or here https://imbetween.org/episode198/

#parenting #disciplemaking #discipleship #christcenteredhome
•
Follow
In a compelling analogy from Episode 198 of our IMbetween Podcast, our guest @davidsunde describes parents as “tour guides” rather than “travel agents” in their children’s faith journeys. Unlike travel agents who arrange logistics from afar, tour guides walk with their children through every high and low. This metaphor highlights the importance of presence and shared experiences in nurturing faith. By being there for the everyday moments, parents can provide authentic guidance and support, much like God’s nature as Emmanuel—“God with us.” It’s an insightful shift in perspective that’s worth reflecting on. Listen to Episode 198 wherever you get your podcasts, or here https://imbetween.org/episode198/ #parenting #disciplemaking #discipleship #christcenteredhome
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We discuss a powerful exercise from her book, “Grace Yourself,” that helps individuals evaluate these numbing patterns and consider healthier alternatives. It’s about gaining awareness and making intentional choices to support our well-being. 

Tune in wherever you listen to your podcasts, or here @ https://imbetween.org/episode197
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The Role of Numbing Behaviors 🤔🫨 Ever wonder why we turn to quick fixes when we’re stressed or exhausted? In Episode 197 of the IMbetween Podcast, @chris3janssen explains that numbing behaviors like reaching for sugary treats or alcohol provide immediate relief but often at a significant cost. We discuss a powerful exercise from her book, “Grace Yourself,” that helps individuals evaluate these numbing patterns and consider healthier alternatives. It’s about gaining awareness and making intentional choices to support our well-being. Tune in wherever you listen to your podcasts, or here @ https://imbetween.org/episode197
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Just like a garden needs the right conditions to thrive, so do our minds. It’s about adjusting our surroundings to create supportive spaces for everyone, especially our kids. 🌱📘 

Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or by going to https://imbetween.org/episode196/

#MentalHealth #Overstimulation #Parenting
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Did you know that despite growing awareness of mental health, anxiety and depression rates in children and adolescents have sharply risen? In episode 196 of the @imbetweenshow podcast, @sarahboyd, author of Turn Down the Noise, discusses how overstimulation in our environment could be a key factor. Just like a garden needs the right conditions to thrive, so do our minds. It’s about adjusting our surroundings to create supportive spaces for everyone, especially our kids. 🌱📘 Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or by going to https://imbetween.org/episode196/ #MentalHealth #Overstimulation #Parenting
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Listen wherever you get your podcasts or at https://imbetween.org/epsiode195/
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Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
•
Follow
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
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Hello Instagram

In a compelling analogy from Episode 198 of our IMbetween Podcast, our guest @davidsunde describes parents as “tour guides” rather than “travel agents” in their children’s faith journeys. Unlike travel agents who arrange logistics from afar, tour guides walk with their children through every high and low. This metaphor highlights the importance of presence and shared experiences in nurturing faith. By being there for the everyday moments, parents can provide authentic guidance and support, much like God’s nature as Emmanuel—“God with us.” It’s an insightful shift in perspective that’s worth reflecting on.

Listen to Episode 198 wherever you get your podcasts, or here https://imbetween.org/episode198/

#parenting #disciplemaking #discipleship #christcenteredhome
•
Follow
In a compelling analogy from Episode 198 of our IMbetween Podcast, our guest @davidsunde describes parents as “tour guides” rather than “travel agents” in their children’s faith journeys. Unlike travel agents who arrange logistics from afar, tour guides walk with their children through every high and low. This metaphor highlights the importance of presence and shared experiences in nurturing faith. By being there for the everyday moments, parents can provide authentic guidance and support, much like God’s nature as Emmanuel—“God with us.” It’s an insightful shift in perspective that’s worth reflecting on. Listen to Episode 198 wherever you get your podcasts, or here https://imbetween.org/episode198/ #parenting #disciplemaking #discipleship #christcenteredhome
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
1/5
The Role of Numbing Behaviors 🤔🫨

Ever wonder why we turn to quick fixes when we’re stressed or exhausted? In Episode 197 of the IMbetween Podcast, @chris3janssen explains that numbing behaviors like reaching for sugary treats or alcohol provide immediate relief but often at a significant cost. 

We discuss a powerful exercise from her book, “Grace Yourself,” that helps individuals evaluate these numbing patterns and consider healthier alternatives. It’s about gaining awareness and making intentional choices to support our well-being. 

Tune in wherever you listen to your podcasts, or here @ https://imbetween.org/episode197
•
Follow
The Role of Numbing Behaviors 🤔🫨 Ever wonder why we turn to quick fixes when we’re stressed or exhausted? In Episode 197 of the IMbetween Podcast, @chris3janssen explains that numbing behaviors like reaching for sugary treats or alcohol provide immediate relief but often at a significant cost. We discuss a powerful exercise from her book, “Grace Yourself,” that helps individuals evaluate these numbing patterns and consider healthier alternatives. It’s about gaining awareness and making intentional choices to support our well-being. Tune in wherever you listen to your podcasts, or here @ https://imbetween.org/episode197
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
2/5
Did you know that despite growing awareness of mental health, anxiety and depression rates in children and adolescents have sharply risen? 

In episode 196 of the @imbetweenshow podcast, @sarahboyd, author of Turn Down the Noise, discusses how overstimulation in our environment could be a key factor. 

Just like a garden needs the right conditions to thrive, so do our minds. It’s about adjusting our surroundings to create supportive spaces for everyone, especially our kids. 🌱📘 

Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or by going to https://imbetween.org/episode196/

#MentalHealth #Overstimulation #Parenting
•
Follow
Did you know that despite growing awareness of mental health, anxiety and depression rates in children and adolescents have sharply risen? In episode 196 of the @imbetweenshow podcast, @sarahboyd, author of Turn Down the Noise, discusses how overstimulation in our environment could be a key factor. Just like a garden needs the right conditions to thrive, so do our minds. It’s about adjusting our surroundings to create supportive spaces for everyone, especially our kids. 🌱📘 Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or by going to https://imbetween.org/episode196/ #MentalHealth #Overstimulation #Parenting
2 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/5
Ever feel like an imposter in your own life? @cassandralspeer shares her struggles with imposter syndrome. On episode 195 of the IMbetween Podcast, we delved into how these feelings of inadequacy can actually highlight our humility and dependence on God. It’s a poignant reminder that feeling unqualified doesn’t disqualify us from our purpose—it can be a step towards it.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts or at https://imbetween.org/epsiode195/
•
Follow
Ever feel like an imposter in your own life? @cassandralspeer shares her struggles with imposter syndrome. On episode 195 of the IMbetween Podcast, we delved into how these feelings of inadequacy can actually highlight our humility and dependence on God. It’s a poignant reminder that feeling unqualified doesn’t disqualify us from our purpose—it can be a step towards it. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or at https://imbetween.org/epsiode195/
2 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/5
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
•
Follow
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
3 months ago
View on Instagram |
5/5
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