37: One of the Greatest Secrets to a Successful Marriage

October 1, 2018

In Episode 37 of The IMbetween Podcast, Daniel and Christina Im discuss the importance of love and respect in a marriage.

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

What the Crazy Cycle is
How do you get on the Crazy Cycle
How do you get off the Crazy Cycle
How men need respect and women need love

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Listen to part 2 of How To Live Your Best Marriage
Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Ephesians 5:33 – However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband
Rummikub Game – one of our favorite games to play together
Inside Out movie
1 Peter 3:12 – For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer
Audibletrial.com/imbetween – grab your FREE book when you sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial

Quotables:

“If a wife doesn’t feel loved, she will not show respect. If a husband doesn’t feel respected, he will not show love. The more the wife criticizes, the more the husband will shut down and withdraw. The more the husband shuts down and withdraws, the more the wife will attack, be negative, and complain. This is why it is deemed the crazy cycle. “
“When a wife feels unloved, she wants to talk things through to solve the issue. When a husband feels disrespected, the last thing he wants to do is talk things through.”
“When a husband feels like his wife doesn’t like him, he doesn’t interpret the feeling as his wife not loving him. He interprets the feeling as disrespect.”
“Whenever you are in conflict, take a moment to step away and ask yourself, “What did I do? What part do I have to play in contributing to this argument?”
“For women, emotions are reality.”
“As husbands, we need to remember that when our wives vent their feelings, she believes that she is keeping the marriage healthy and helping the relationship work more smoothly. She is not trying to attack you personally.” – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
“Instead of running from your wife, will you move toward her? Let her move toward you, firing those venomous hurtful word darts. If you’re ready to take the hit, you can stop the craziness.” – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
“When you touch your spouse’s deepest need, something good always happens. The key to energizing your spouse is meeting your spouse’s heartfelt desire.” – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
“A wife can give her husband unconditional respect in tone and expression while confronting his unloving behavior and without endorsing his unloving reactions. He may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.” – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Homework:

Read the book Love & Respect
Wives – try saying a version of this statement next time you are in a fight with your husband: ” That felt unloving. Did I come across as disrespectful? If so, I am sorry. How can I come across more respectfully?”
Husbands – try saying a version of this statement next time you are in a fight with your wife: “That felt disrespectful. Did I come across as unloving? If so, I am sorry. How can I come across more lovingly?”