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Episodes / Marriage / Relationship

89: 6 Relationship Lessons From The Netflix Movie Marriage Story (Part 1)

March 2, 2020

100% of married couples have conflict. But, not 100% of married couples know how to resolve their conflict. We recently watched the Netflix movie, Marriage Story. While it is heartbreaking to watch a marriage literally fall apart, the movie points out some very important relationship lessons that can make or break a marriage.

In Episode 89, Daniel and Christina discuss 6 crucial relationship lessons from the Netflix movie, Marriage Story. Whether you have watched the movie or not, these 6 points will help you re-center and re-focus your marriage on the path to growth, connection, respect, and love for one another. Make sure to tune into Part 2 as well.

Have You Grabbed Your FREE Guide to Better Relationships with The Enneagram?

  • We can’t wait for you to get your hands on this resource! This printable will help you have a healthier marriage, deeper friendships, and better work relations.
  • Download our FREE printable: The Enneagram and Conflict Resolution: A Guide to Better Relationships

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

  • Important marriage lessons from the Netflix movie Marriage Story
  • How marriage is hard, but divorce is harder
  • What bids are and why they are crucial to your relationship
  • The importance of learning to resolve conflict with your spouse

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

  • Want to find out more about bids? Read Dr. John Gottman’s books The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships and What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal
  • Tune into our previous episodes about resolving conflict:
    • Episode 19: How to Handle and Resolve Conflict
    • Episode 37: One of The Greatest Secrets to a Successful Marriage
    • Episode 61: I Think I’ve Married The Wrong Person 
    • Episode 69: Enneagram and Communication Styles (with Lauren Gray)
    • Episode 70: Resolving Conflict with the Enneagram (with Lauren Gray)
    • Episode 86: The Good, The Hard, and The Beautiful 
  • Curious about how the Enneagram can help your marriage? Check out Beth and Jeff McCord’s book, Becoming Us: Using the Enneagram to Create a Thriving Gospel-Centered Marriage
  • Listen to Part 2 of 6 Relationship Lessons From The Netflix Movie Marriage Story

Quotables & Tweetables:

  • “Getting divorced with a kid can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. It’s like a death without a body.” @marriagestory
  • Walking away from conflict does not solve it nor does it end it. @imbetweenshow
  • Marriage is hard, divorce is harder. @imbetweenshow
  • Maybe it’s not the depth of intimacy in conversations that matters. Maybe it doesn’t even matter whether couples agree or disagree. Maybe the important thing is how you pay attention to each other, no matter what your spouse is talking about or doing. @gottmaninst
  • Simply put, successful couples are attentive. They listen, and they put their phones down when the other person wants to chat. @gottmaninst
  • Gottman found when couples break up, it’s usually not because of issues like big fights or infidelity. More often, it’s a result of the resentment and distance that builds up over time when partners continually turn away from bids for connection.@gottmaninst
  • Seek to understand the situation and your spouse’s feelings. @imbetweenshow
  • Assumicide is when we incorrectly believe we know another person’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations. We assume we understand why they are behaving in a particular way, and then we respond without asking clarifying questions. @enneagram_coach

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  • Twitter – @imbetweenshow
  • Facebook – @imbetweenshow
And don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast, so that you will never miss an episode!EPi
TAGS:beth mccordbidconflictdifficultdivorceDr John Gottmanenneagramintimacylessonslistenlovemarriagemarriage storymovienetflixrelationshiptrust
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Daniel and Christina Im
about us

Daniel and Christina Im

We’re Daniel and Christina Im. Our heart’s desire and mission is to give you the tools to build a strong, connected, and joy-filled marriage and family.

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In Episode 188, @danielsangi and @christina.therapy talk with @steveryancarter, who shares his journey through grief and insights from his new book, “Grieve, Breathe, Receive.” Steve discusses his complex relationships with his adoptive and biological fathers. emphasizing the importance of processing grief with hope. He introduces a framework for navigating grief, encouraging listeners to honour their feelings and remain open to the beautiful surprises that life can bring. The episode offers valuable perspectives on healing, reconciliation, and the transformative power of hope. Listen in wherever you get your podcasts by searching “IMbetween Podcast” or by going to IMbetween.org/episode188.
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In Episode 188, @danielsangi and @christina.therapy talk with @steveryancarter, who shares his journey through grief and insights from his new book, “Grieve, Breathe, Receive.” Steve discusses his complex relationships with his adoptive and biological fathers. emphasizing the importance of processing grief with hope. He introduces a framework for navigating grief, encouraging listeners to honour their feelings and remain open to the beautiful surprises that life can bring. The episode offers valuable perspectives on healing, reconciliation, and the transformative power of hope. Listen in wherever you get your podcasts by searching “IMbetween Podcast” or by going to IMbetween.org/episode188.
1 week ago
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In our latest episode, @danielsangi and @christina.therapy chat with Erin Loechner—once a social media influencer with over a million followers—who made the radical choice to step away from the digital spotlight and embrace a low-tech lifestyle. Erin reflects on the impact of social media on her mental health, identity, and parenting, sharing how the constant pressure to stay “connected” was eroding what mattered most. In this conversation, she offers practical tips for reducing tech dependence, from simplifying devices to creating meaningful offline moments with loved ones, all while reminding us that true connection thrives in real life, not on screens. This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about living a more intentional, tech-free life. Erin’s journey and the principles of the Opt Out Family movement offer a compelling perspective on how to navigate our tech-driven world. Listen to Episode 187 wherever you get your podcasts or directly at https://imbetween.org/episode187/
imbetweenshow
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In our latest episode, @danielsangi and @christina.therapy chat with Erin Loechner—once a social media influencer with over a million followers—who made the radical choice to step away from the digital spotlight and embrace a low-tech lifestyle. Erin reflects on the impact of social media on her mental health, identity, and parenting, sharing how the constant pressure to stay “connected” was eroding what mattered most. In this conversation, she offers practical tips for reducing tech dependence, from simplifying devices to creating meaningful offline moments with loved ones, all while reminding us that true connection thrives in real life, not on screens. This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about living a more intentional, tech-free life. Erin’s journey and the principles of the Opt Out Family movement offer a compelling perspective on how to navigate our tech-driven world. Listen to Episode 187 wherever you get your podcasts or directly at https://imbetween.org/episode187/
3 weeks ago
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2/6
This episode could not be released on a more perfect day. Today is World Mental Health day and what better way to recognize this important topic than talking about loneliness and how that can affect the biological, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects of us. God never intended us to live life alone or in isolation. When we hide parts of ourselves from others as a protection strategy, it has so many negative side effects. But, how do we learn to be vulnerable and open up to others when we fear getting hurt…or even worse than that, no one hears us? We’re diving into this topic in this episode with author, licensed therapist, and pastor @chuckdegroat . After you listen to this episode, be sure to pick up a copy of his new book, Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself and God When You’re Wounded, Weary, and Wandering. It is one of the books that I will continue to recommend to my clients as it talks about SO many important therapeutic concepts without all the jargon and in a really easy-to-understand way. It is a gift to the church and to the mental health sphere. Imbetween.org/episode186 #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #worldmentalhealthday2024 #healingjourney #therapistsofinstagram #loneliness #mentalhealthjourney #selfaware #imbetweenpodcast #imbetweenshow
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This episode could not be released on a more perfect day. Today is World Mental Health day and what better way to recognize this important topic than talking about loneliness and how that can affect the biological, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects of us. God never intended us to live life alone or in isolation. When we hide parts of ourselves from others as a protection strategy, it has so many negative side effects. But, how do we learn to be vulnerable and open up to others when we fear getting hurt…or even worse than that, no one hears us? We’re diving into this topic in this episode with author, licensed therapist, and pastor @chuckdegroat . After you listen to this episode, be sure to pick up a copy of his new book, Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself and God When You’re Wounded, Weary, and Wandering. It is one of the books that I will continue to recommend to my clients as it talks about SO many important therapeutic concepts without all the jargon and in a really easy-to-understand way. It is a gift to the church and to the mental health sphere. Imbetween.org/episode186 #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #worldmentalhealthday2024 #healingjourney #therapistsofinstagram #loneliness #mentalhealthjourney #selfaware #imbetweenpodcast #imbetweenshow
2 months ago
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3/6
First day of school! After a whirlwind of a summer and SO many late nights, we somehow all managed to wake up on time and make it to school. For the first time in two years, Mama doesn’t have a back to school photo since practicum starts next week! Wishing everyone a beautiful school year filled with wonderful, excitement, learning, growing, stretching, meaningful friendships, and stillness. #firstdayofschool #goodbyesummer #itsfallyall
First day of school! After a whirlwind of a summer and SO many late nights, we somehow all managed to wake up on time and make it to school. For the first time in two years, Mama doesn’t have a back to school photo since practicum starts next week! Wishing everyone a beautiful school year filled with wonderful, excitement, learning, growing, stretching, meaningful friendships, and stillness. #firstdayofschool #goodbyesummer #itsfallyall
First day of school! After a whirlwind of a summer and SO many late nights, we somehow all managed to wake up on time and make it to school. For the first time in two years, Mama doesn’t have a back to school photo since practicum starts next week! Wishing everyone a beautiful school year filled with wonderful, excitement, learning, growing, stretching, meaningful friendships, and stillness. #firstdayofschool #goodbyesummer #itsfallyall
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First day of school! After a whirlwind of a summer and SO many late nights, we somehow all managed to wake up on time and make it to school. For the first time in two years, Mama doesn’t have a back to school photo since practicum starts next week! Wishing everyone a beautiful school year filled with wonderful, excitement, learning, growing, stretching, meaningful friendships, and stillness. #firstdayofschool #goodbyesummer #itsfallyall
3 months ago
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18 years later and still my best “yes.” It has been a joy to grow up and grow older with you, @danielsangi Happy anniversary to the love of my life. #happyanniversary #couplelove
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18 years later and still my best “yes.” It has been a joy to grow up and grow older with you, @danielsangi Happy anniversary to the love of my life. #happyanniversary #couplelove
3 months ago
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5/6
@danielsangi looked at me the other day and said, “Hey…we haven’t had a big fight in awhile.” We gave each other a 🙌 because the Lord knows we used to fight often! Through the years, we’ve learned to communicate a little clearer, apologize a little quicker, and remind ourselves that we’re on the same team. We’ve come a long way and we are grateful for people and resources that have invested life and love into our marriage. Speaking of resources, we were blessed to be a part of the new version of Art of Marriage that came out early this year. It is a 6 week couple study created to strengthen your marriage and help nurture a healthier and more fulfilling relationship. It is available through RightNow Media and can also be purchased through artofmarriage.com On our podcast, we interviewed Brian and Jen Goins, producers of the new Art of Marriage, about how this resource can impact your marriage. Find the episode wherever you listen to podcasts or go to IMbetween.org/183 #artofmarriage #familylifecanada #familylife #marriageresources #couplehelp #marriagepodcast
imbetweenshow
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@danielsangi looked at me the other day and said, “Hey…we haven’t had a big fight in awhile.” We gave each other a 🙌 because the Lord knows we used to fight often! Through the years, we’ve learned to communicate a little clearer, apologize a little quicker, and remind ourselves that we’re on the same team. We’ve come a long way and we are grateful for people and resources that have invested life and love into our marriage. Speaking of resources, we were blessed to be a part of the new version of Art of Marriage that came out early this year. It is a 6 week couple study created to strengthen your marriage and help nurture a healthier and more fulfilling relationship. It is available through RightNow Media and can also be purchased through artofmarriage.com On our podcast, we interviewed Brian and Jen Goins, producers of the new Art of Marriage, about how this resource can impact your marriage. Find the episode wherever you listen to podcasts or go to IMbetween.org/183 #artofmarriage #familylifecanada #familylife #marriageresources #couplehelp #marriagepodcast
4 months ago
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In Episode 188, @danielsangi and @christina.therapy talk with @steveryancarter, who shares his journey through grief and insights from his new book, “Grieve, Breathe, Receive.” Steve discusses his complex relationships with his adoptive and biological fathers. emphasizing the importance of processing grief with hope. He introduces a framework for navigating grief, encouraging listeners to honour their feelings and remain open to the beautiful surprises that life can bring. The episode offers valuable perspectives on healing, reconciliation, and the transformative power of hope. Listen in wherever you get your podcasts by searching “IMbetween Podcast” or by going to IMbetween.org/episode188.
imbetweenshow
imbetweenshow
•
Follow
In Episode 188, @danielsangi and @christina.therapy talk with @steveryancarter, who shares his journey through grief and insights from his new book, “Grieve, Breathe, Receive.” Steve discusses his complex relationships with his adoptive and biological fathers. emphasizing the importance of processing grief with hope. He introduces a framework for navigating grief, encouraging listeners to honour their feelings and remain open to the beautiful surprises that life can bring. The episode offers valuable perspectives on healing, reconciliation, and the transformative power of hope. Listen in wherever you get your podcasts by searching “IMbetween Podcast” or by going to IMbetween.org/episode188.
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
1/5
In our latest episode, @danielsangi and @christina.therapy chat with Erin Loechner—once a social media influencer with over a million followers—who made the radical choice to step away from the digital spotlight and embrace a low-tech lifestyle. Erin reflects on the impact of social media on her mental health, identity, and parenting, sharing how the constant pressure to stay “connected” was eroding what mattered most. In this conversation, she offers practical tips for reducing tech dependence, from simplifying devices to creating meaningful offline moments with loved ones, all while reminding us that true connection thrives in real life, not on screens. This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about living a more intentional, tech-free life. Erin’s journey and the principles of the Opt Out Family movement offer a compelling perspective on how to navigate our tech-driven world. Listen to Episode 187 wherever you get your podcasts or directly at https://imbetween.org/episode187/
imbetweenshow
imbetweenshow
•
Follow
In our latest episode, @danielsangi and @christina.therapy chat with Erin Loechner—once a social media influencer with over a million followers—who made the radical choice to step away from the digital spotlight and embrace a low-tech lifestyle. Erin reflects on the impact of social media on her mental health, identity, and parenting, sharing how the constant pressure to stay “connected” was eroding what mattered most. In this conversation, she offers practical tips for reducing tech dependence, from simplifying devices to creating meaningful offline moments with loved ones, all while reminding us that true connection thrives in real life, not on screens. This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about living a more intentional, tech-free life. Erin’s journey and the principles of the Opt Out Family movement offer a compelling perspective on how to navigate our tech-driven world. Listen to Episode 187 wherever you get your podcasts or directly at https://imbetween.org/episode187/
3 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
2/5
This episode could not be released on a more perfect day. Today is World Mental Health day and what better way to recognize this important topic than talking about loneliness and how that can affect the biological, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects of us. God never intended us to live life alone or in isolation. When we hide parts of ourselves from others as a protection strategy, it has so many negative side effects. But, how do we learn to be vulnerable and open up to others when we fear getting hurt…or even worse than that, no one hears us? We’re diving into this topic in this episode with author, licensed therapist, and pastor @chuckdegroat . After you listen to this episode, be sure to pick up a copy of his new book, Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself and God When You’re Wounded, Weary, and Wandering. It is one of the books that I will continue to recommend to my clients as it talks about SO many important therapeutic concepts without all the jargon and in a really easy-to-understand way. It is a gift to the church and to the mental health sphere. Imbetween.org/episode186 #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #worldmentalhealthday2024 #healingjourney #therapistsofinstagram #loneliness #mentalhealthjourney #selfaware #imbetweenpodcast #imbetweenshow
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This episode could not be released on a more perfect day. Today is World Mental Health day and what better way to recognize this important topic than talking about loneliness and how that can affect the biological, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects of us. God never intended us to live life alone or in isolation. When we hide parts of ourselves from others as a protection strategy, it has so many negative side effects. But, how do we learn to be vulnerable and open up to others when we fear getting hurt…or even worse than that, no one hears us? We’re diving into this topic in this episode with author, licensed therapist, and pastor @chuckdegroat . After you listen to this episode, be sure to pick up a copy of his new book, Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself and God When You’re Wounded, Weary, and Wandering. It is one of the books that I will continue to recommend to my clients as it talks about SO many important therapeutic concepts without all the jargon and in a really easy-to-understand way. It is a gift to the church and to the mental health sphere. Imbetween.org/episode186 #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #worldmentalhealthday2024 #healingjourney #therapistsofinstagram #loneliness #mentalhealthjourney #selfaware #imbetweenpodcast #imbetweenshow
2 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/5
First day of school! After a whirlwind of a summer and SO many late nights, we somehow all managed to wake up on time and make it to school. For the first time in two years, Mama doesn’t have a back to school photo since practicum starts next week! Wishing everyone a beautiful school year filled with wonderful, excitement, learning, growing, stretching, meaningful friendships, and stillness. #firstdayofschool #goodbyesummer #itsfallyall
First day of school! After a whirlwind of a summer and SO many late nights, we somehow all managed to wake up on time and make it to school. For the first time in two years, Mama doesn’t have a back to school photo since practicum starts next week! Wishing everyone a beautiful school year filled with wonderful, excitement, learning, growing, stretching, meaningful friendships, and stillness. #firstdayofschool #goodbyesummer #itsfallyall
First day of school! After a whirlwind of a summer and SO many late nights, we somehow all managed to wake up on time and make it to school. For the first time in two years, Mama doesn’t have a back to school photo since practicum starts next week! Wishing everyone a beautiful school year filled with wonderful, excitement, learning, growing, stretching, meaningful friendships, and stillness. #firstdayofschool #goodbyesummer #itsfallyall
imbetweenshow
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First day of school! After a whirlwind of a summer and SO many late nights, we somehow all managed to wake up on time and make it to school. For the first time in two years, Mama doesn’t have a back to school photo since practicum starts next week! Wishing everyone a beautiful school year filled with wonderful, excitement, learning, growing, stretching, meaningful friendships, and stillness. #firstdayofschool #goodbyesummer #itsfallyall
3 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/5
18 years later and still my best “yes.” It has been a joy to grow up and grow older with you, @danielsangi Happy anniversary to the love of my life. #happyanniversary #couplelove
imbetweenshow
imbetweenshow
•
Follow
18 years later and still my best “yes.” It has been a joy to grow up and grow older with you, @danielsangi Happy anniversary to the love of my life. #happyanniversary #couplelove
3 months ago
View on Instagram |
5/5
@imbetweenshow
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