49: When Adoption is a Part of Your Story with Jamie and Aaron Ivey

January 21, 2019

In Episode 49 of The IMbetween Podcast, Daniel and Christina Im interview Jamie and Aaron Ivey about their adoption story. They have four children, three of whom are teenagers, and one preteen (yes, we can stop and say a prayer). Fourteen years ago, they started building their family through adoption — two international and one domestic. Jamie and Aaron honestly share about their experience, how they continue to talk about adoption with their children, and how their approach to adoption has changed over the years.

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

Jamie and Aaron’s adoption story
How to talk to your children about adoption
How we are all called to care for the orphans, but how we may not all be called to adopt
Practical ways to help and support those who are going through the adoption process

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Check out Jamie Ivey’s If You Only Knew book, which recently celebrated its one year anniversary!
Take a look at Aaron Ivey’s book, Steal Away Home
Listen to Jamie Ivey’s podcast The Happy Hour
Watch the Netflix original series called Mascots, which documents the behind-the-scene lives of those who are mascots

Quotables:

“We’ve tried to take out as much mystery as we can because for an adopted child is the thing that can cause a lot of fear, doubt, and anxiety.” – Aaron Ivey
“We’ve hung up pictures of their first mom or grandparent and talk about them all the time.” – Aaron Ivey
“It’s important to us that our kids are outside of their country often to give them a bigger worldview.” – Aaron Ivey
Every Mother’s Day, we, as their parents, acknowledge that there is another mom in their life, even if they have never met her.” – Jamie Ivey
“We never want to discredit their birth mom or take anything away from her that she deserves. The reality is that they do have another mom and without her, they are not here.” – Jamie Ivey
“There’s this fear that if we talk about their birth parents, they are going to wish they had them, that they’re not going to love us. We’ve seen the exact opposite. We’ve seen by giving our children the language to talk about what happened, to give credit to their birth parents and give them value, our children want to honor their birth parents and they feel proud of them.” – Jamie Ivey
“We would have less questions if we never talked about adoption or where they came from. It would feel easier for us, but it would be of a detriment to our kids in the long run. We are willing to enter to those hard places with them because we see that it brings value for their growth now and as they continue to grow. ” – Jamie Ivey
“All of us do have a responsibility and a role to play in caring for the orphan. It just might not always mean adoption.” – Aaron Ivey
“Education is so important. The truth of the matter is, adoption is always built on loss. Families need to be equipped to be able to handle that.” – Jamie Ivey
“You may not understand the complexities of a friend’s adoption. And, you don’t have to understand the complexities of a friend’s adoption. But, you can be present. You can be there.” – Aaron Ivey
“Raising children is really about raising future adults who have their identities rooted in Christ.” – Aaron Ivey
“Every conversation has the potential to form and shape your child’s identity about themselves, the world, and God that made the world. – Aaron Ivey
“Our identity is not found in our kids. Our joy and our happiness is not found in how well our kids are doing. Our identity has to be found in Christ as well.” – Aaron Ivey
“Every parent has the opportunity to teach their kids about the beautiful world God has made — the different cultures, countries, and languages — and help their kids celebrate the beauty of that. – Aaron Ivey

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Meet Jamie and Aaron Ivey:

Jamie and Aaron have been married for almost two decades and have four kids that they’re responsible for on a daily basis. Three of those cute kids joined their family through adoption – domestic and international. Their very loud family lives in Austin, Texas where they are all fans of breakfast tacos, chips & salsa, and vegan queso. Nope, they’re not vegan, but they still like good vegan queso. Aaron Ivey is the Worship Pastor at The Austin Stone in Austin, Texas where he pastors a church he absolutely loves in the heart of the city he absolutely loves. He is a songwriter, shepherd, artist, author, elder, father, husband, and mentor and has a deep love for his family and community. In 2011 Jamie won a contest to become a DJ on a country radio station in Austin, and although that job was short-lived it put a love for audio in her that she couldn’t shake. In 2014 she launched her podcast, The Happy Hour, and ladies (and a few men) everywhere loved it! That opened opportunities for her to write a book and have people invite her to speak at their churches and events. Jamie’s book, If You Only Knew, released in 2018 and she is currently daydreaming about what she’ll say next!