21: The Importance of Continuing to Ask Good Questions

June 11, 2018

In Episode 21 of The IMbetween Podcast, Daniel and Christina Im talk about why it is important to ask thought-provoking questions in every stage of your relationship.

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

Why we highly recommend pre-marital counseling
Why it is important to continue to ask good questions while married
Good questions to ask your partner/fiancee/spouse to open up honest communication
How your cultural norms can determine your relationships with your spouse and extended family

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Episode 17 – Christina refers to this episode about finances
Episode 19 – Daniel refers to this episode about conflict
101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright
Dating Questions:
- Pretend you and your fiancée are on a game show. Answer random questions like: What is my favorite chocolate bar? Favorite car? Favorite color?
- What is your greatest fear or concern about getting married? (DON’T ask this question on your first date!)
- What are 5 reasons a person would want to spend the rest of their life with you? And 3 reasons they wouldn’t?
- What have you learned from your previous relationships that will make you a better partner for someone at this time?
- What qualities do you see in your parents that you expect to see in your future spouse?
- How much do you value personal time to reflect, study, or create?
Engagement Questions:
- When a person marries, they sever the cord of dependency on and alleging to their parents. If we marry, which of these will be the most difficult to sever and why?
- What are the questions about me you’ve always wanted to ask, but never have?
- What do you think about pornography in our future home?
- What are five adjectives you would select to describe your relationship with your father?
- What are five adjectives you would select to describe your relationship with your mother?
Marriage Questions:
- When you are sick, how do you want others to respond to you? When a significant person in your life is sick, how do you respond?
- When do you feel most loved by me? And respected by me?
- In your opinion, what is the one thing we’ve argued about the most in the past 90 days?
- How can I better show my appreciation to you?
- What are three of the most vivid memories you can recall from birth to age 18?
- What are the areas of your life you must control and those areas in your life you would like to control?
- What about your partner makes you feel proud of them?
- What are some of the biggest fears in your life?
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Quotables:

“We continue to change. We don’t want to grow apart.”
“These questions are NOT for texting or e-mailing.”
“In relationships, the past is the best predictor for the future unless there is an intentional change.”
“What you are afraid of speaks a lot of what you care for, what you value, who and what you love.”