178: You Can’t Run From Your Past: Why Healing is the Best Way Forward with Jason VanRuler
Jason VanRuler, a therapist and author, discusses the transformative power of facing one’s past. He shares his personal journey from a troubled childhood to professional success, highlighting the importance of self-reflection and seeking help to overcome recurring life challenges. Daniel and Christina explore with Jason the various ways individuals can begin addressing their issues, whether through therapy, journaling, or simply talking to a trusted friend. Jason emphasizes that healing from the past involves changing our relationship with it, reducing its emotional intensity, and no longer allowing it to dictate our present and future.
In This Episode, You Will Hear About The Following:
- Importance of confronting brokenness and the past
- Impact of childhood experiences on adult behaviour
- Promises individuals make to themselves that may keep them stuck
- Jason’s personal journey from a challenging environment to becoming a therapist and author
- Why we need to address and change our relationship with the past
- Paths forward for confronting brokenness, including seeking therapy, journaling, and talking to others
- Importance of community and connection in the healing process
- What it looks like to be healed from our past
Resources Mentioned in This Book:
- You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies About Work, Life, and Love by Daniel Im
- Get Past Your Past: How Facing Your Broken Places Leads to True Connection by Jason VanRuler
- Jason’s website, Instagram, Youtube, and TikTok
- Wanting to understand yourself and others more? The Enneagram is a great tool to help with self-reflection. Listen to past episodes we have about growing yourself by getting to know yourself:
Journal Prompts For Personal Reflection:
- Jason highlights the challenge of confronting brokenness and avoiding it leading to repeated challenges. How comfortable are you with facing your own brokenness? Have you experienced instances where avoiding the past led to repeated challenges?
- Jason suggests identifying places in your life where you consistently get stuck. What are these areas for you, and how do they manifest in your life?
- After identifying sticking points, Jason advises exploring why these issues persist. What stories or beliefs do you tell yourself about the reasons behind these challenges? How might these stories be influencing your behavior?
- Jason recommends reaching out to someone you know and trust to talk about your challenges. Who is someone in your life that you feel comfortable sharing your struggles with? What role does connection and sharing play in the process of healing?
Discussion Prompts For You As A Couple:
- Have you ever reached a point in your life where you realized a need for change, similar to Jason’s experience? What triggered that realization, and how did it impact your decisions moving forward?
- Jason shares the moment he looked in the mirror and didn’t like the person looking back at him. Have you ever had a similar moment of self-realization? How did it impact your choices and actions moving forward?
- Reflect on the importance of surrounding yourself with people who contribute positively to your growth. How do you assess whether your current circle supports your personal development? Have you ever had to make tough decisions about friendships for the sake of your own growth?
- Jason shares his approach to confronting those who might be keeping him stuck. How do you approach difficult conversations with people in your life? Is the fear of confrontation something you’ve experienced?
- Reflect on instances in your life where the friendships you maintained influenced your personal growth. How did those relationships contribute to your journey?
- Jason talks about making promises to himself during difficult times. Have you ever made promises to yourself in challenging moments? How have these promises influenced your choices and behaviors?
- Jason emphasizes the transformative power of sharing stories. Have you experienced the impact of sharing your own story or hearing someone else’s story? How did it make you feel?
- The hosts discuss the difference between internal and verbal processors. If you tend to be an internal processor, how do you navigate the idea of opening up to others about your struggles? Do you see value in externalizing your thoughts and feelings?
Meet Jason VanRuler:
Jason VanRuler began his career in 2011 and has worked with many populations over the years, ranging from persons who are incarcerated to top CEOs, performers and artists, and just about everyone in between. Jason has extensive experience as a clinician, coach, and speaker and operates a multistate private practice. In 2018, Jason joined Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, TN, where he serves as a group leader and facilitator. Jason is known for his ability to relate and connect with his clients and offer hope to those who have felt hopeless. He has an engaged and rapidly growing online audience for his insightful, short videos sharing practical tips for psychological care, self-help, and healthy relationships.
Jason enjoys spending time with his wife and three children playing games and traveling. In his spare time, Jason enjoys cycling, running, music, fly fishing, and all things personal development related.
