171: Using the Stoplight Approach to Calm Big Emotions with Cherilyn Orr
Are you feeling tired, stressed, and overwhelmed? Are you looking for a tool to simplify your life and bring back the calm, peace, fun, and love in your home? Us too! In this episode, you will discover how brain science can increase the connection with your spouse and your children. We interview author and speaker Cherilyn Orr on the stoplight approach. You will discover the link between brain science and the Bible, and how you can use this knowledge to cultivate a connected and thriving “green home.”
In This podcast, You Will Hear About:
- Explanation of the stoplight approach (red, yellow, green brain states)
- Connection between the stoplight approach and marriage and parenting
- Connection between the stoplight approach and the Bible
- Comparison of the stoplight approach to traditional parenting techniques like timeouts
- Description of a “green home” and its pillars (safety, mutual respect, responsibility)
- Importance of skill-building and empathy in teaching responsibility
- Application of the stoplight approach in parenting and marriage
- Application of the stoplight approach to teenagers and decision-making process
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
- Signals: How Brain Science and the Bible Help Parents Raise Resilient Children
- https://www.thestoplightapproach.org/
- The Stoplight Approach Podcast
Quotes And Images:
Discussion Prompts For You As A Couple:
- One of the key ideas shared is that behaviour issues are often brain issues. How might this perspective change how we respond to challenging behaviour from your children, spouse, or anyone else?
- Cherilyn discusses how the “stoplight approach” challenges traditional discipline methods and emphasizes making family members feel “seen, heard, and valued.” How can we, as parents, balance setting boundaries and fostering a safe and nurturing environment? Can you think of specific scenarios for applying this balance in our parenting approach?
- The conversation acknowledges that adopting the stoplight approach is a journey. What small steps can we take to start implementing the principles of the stoplight approach in our family and marriage? How can we make it a gradual but meaningful process?
Meet Cherilyn Orr:
Cherilyn Orr, E.C.E., B.R.E. M.A. is an educational consultant, trainer, coach, and resource developer. She has been an educator from pre-school to university level for 35 years. She was a teaching professor at Vanguard College in Canada for 14 years and has worked with families and educators in Canada, Uganda, Greece, and England to help build safe schools, safe homes, safe communities, and resilient children.
The Stoplight Approach that she developed synthesizes the latest research in brain science as well as her years of experience as a teacher (early childhood, primary, special needs), as a mom to 7 children through birth and adoption, and as a foster mom. Her practical, simple, hands-on approach to understanding the emotional health and relational needs of children has helped hundreds of parents, care-givers, and teachers build strong, healthy relationships with their children and their students.
