165: Important Parenting Tips for Connecting With Your Kids Who Deal With Anxiety With Justine Froelker

February 13, 2023

A child dealing with anxiety can be a challenging and unpredictable experience, much like a rollercoaster ride with its ups and downs. Some days may feel manageable as their parent, while others may feel overwhelming. In Episode 165, we interview Licensed Professional Counselor Justine Froelker about how we can connect with our children who deal with anxiety. As parents, one of the most important things we can do is to provide a constant sense of reassurance, connection, and love to our child. By reminding them of God’s love, we can help them find a sense of peace and security in the midst of their struggles.

In This Episode, You’ll Hear About the following:

The reason why we should teach our children to sit with themselves, that boredom is beneficial, and that quiet is achievable.
How anxiety can draw children inward, and how kindness can be the key to breaking their cycle of anxiety.
How connection and love can create lasting change in our children.
How “fixing our kids” keeps them stuck versus learning to support them.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

Pick up a copy of Justine’s book, 100 Devotions For Kids Dealing With Anxiety
Listen to previous episodes about anxiety:
- Healthy Habits To Teach Your Kids Who Worry A Lo t with Dr. Josh and Christi Straub
- A Simple Grounding Exercise To Help With Anxiety
Want to hear more about taking a break from social media? Listen to Parenting In Our Digital Age
Find out why boredom is an important part of your child’s life in Why Your Kids Need To Be Bored This Summer

Quotes And Tweets:

As a parent, your strongest tool in the parenting toolbox is to model it. If you show yourself to your kids, they will share themselves with you. Change, healing, and growth never happen in disconnection. It only happens in connection and requires vulnerability—model vulnerability to your children. @justinefroelke
Be the adult that you want your child to become. @justinefroelker
You are not meant to run away from yourself. What would it look like to learn to be? You cannot run from your thoughts or your feelings. @justinefroelker
You are not your feelings; you feel your feelings. @justinefroelker
It’s not your job to fix your kids. It is your job to be with them and to support them. @justinefroelker

Questions To Ask Your Kids:

Rather than the typical “How was your day?” question, here are a few ideas to try instead.

What was the best part of your day?
What caused you to be curious today?
What was the most challenging thing you faced today?
Who did you spend the most time with today?
What did you do that was kind or helpful today?
What did you do that made you proud?
What did you do that made you laugh?
Is there anything you wish you had done differently today?

Questions To Ask Your Spouse:

When it comes to romantic relationships, asking open-ended questions is especially important and can deepen the intimacy between each other. Take some time this week to ask your spouse one or two of these questions and genuinely take an interest in their answers without criticism or judgment.

What were the best and worst things that happened to you when you were a teen?
How would you like your life to be different three years from now?
What kind of person do you think our child(ren) will become? Any fears? Hopes?
Do you think you’ve changed in the last year? How so?
If you could choose a different career or vocation, what would it be. and why?
How are you feeling about your job these days?
If you could design the perfect home for us, what would it be like?

Meet Justine Froelker:

Justine is a Licensed Professional Counselor with more than 20 years of experience in traditional mental health and personal and professional development. Justine has been certified in the work of Dr. Brené Brown for eight years.

She is the author of nine books, including five Amazon bestsellers covering subjects such as infertility, faith, and grief. She has been honored to do two TEDx Talks, The Permission of the And and The Donut Effect. Justine also travels nationally and presents virtually to global audiences delivering keynotes, workshops, retreats, and training on topics such as leadership, courage, resilience, mental health, preventing and coping with burnout, and courageous and curious conversation, especially in creating cultures of belonging and diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Justine lives in St. Louis with her husband Chad, their three dogs, and for four months of the year, hundreds of monarch and swallowtail butterflies.