155: The Enneagram For Understanding Your Spouse with Dani Cooper
The gift of Enneagram for relationships is that it offers us insights and perspectives of others. If you’ve ever found yourself questioning why your spouse does certain things in some ways or reacts to certain triggers in other ways, this episode is for you.
In episode 155, we interview Enneagram coach, Dani Cooper, about how the Enneagram can help you understand your spouse at a deeper level. She also helps you learn how to love your spouse well by discovering the core lies they believe and how you can speak truth to their deepest wounds.
In This Episode, You’ll Hear About:
- How the Enneagram can help you understand yourself and your spouse at a deeper level.
- Learn to love your spouse well by discovering the core lies they believe and how you can speak truth to their deepest wounds.
- Hear about communication tips for every Enneagram type.
- Different ways to approach your spouse with the Enneagram, even if they are not interested.
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
- Grab a copy of The Enneagram For Christian Couples: A Guide To Understanding Your Personality Types and Deepening Your Relationship by Dani Cooper
- Listen to our previous episodes about The Enneagram:
- Take a look at our Enneagram printables. They are completely free!
- Looking for an Enneagram test to find out your type?
- 4For a free Enneagram Test, please click here
- For a paid Enneagram Test (which will be more accurate), check out The Enneagram Institute Testing Center
Quotes And Tweets:
- The Enneagram is a system that helps you see. It helps you realize that you have a certain way of seeing the world and helps you understand that your partner has a valid way of seeing the world as well. – Dani Cooper
- Understanding yourself is the bridge that leads you to understand others. – Dani Cooper
- The greatest application of the Enneagram is to learn to love each other better. – Dani Cooper
- Lies each type believe:
- Type One: If I’m not perfect, I’m not good at all.
- Truth For Your Type One: Remind them of the truth that they are good and that they do not need to be perfect to be loved.
- Type Two: If I’m not helpful or loving, you won’t want me.
- Truth For Your Type Two: The truth is, we do love the ways Twos care for us, but the more you can reassure them that you love them for who they are, rather than what they do, the better.
- Type Three: The images that I project about myself are more valuable than who I really am.
- Truth For Your Type Three: Help your spouse remember that God created their authentic self, loved them before they ever did anything amazing, and will keep loving them even if they never do another awesome thing.
- Type Four: No one understands me.
- Truth For Your Type Four: You have a unique position to show them how much you want to understand their deepest and most precious parts. Remind them that God already understand them completely.
- Type Five: My thoughts are my best source of information.
- Truth For Your Type Five: It’s undeniable that your partner has amazing mental capabilities, but they are missing out on the wisdom of their body, and the data their emotions offer, by staying only in their heads. Encouraging them to do more phsyical movement and pay more attention to emotion will support them in great ways.
- Type Six: I’m not brave.
- Truth For Your Type Six: All sixes are brave, as demonstrated each and every day when they feel their fears and act anyway. Applaud your Six when they take action on matters that require their courage.
- Type Seven: Dark feelings are a bummer—and no one wants that part of me anyway.
- Truth For Your Type Seven: Reassure your Seven that all the shades of their feelings, dark and light, are welcomed and accepted and that embracing all the feelings will give them the fullest experience of their own life.
- Type Eight: I’m too much.
- Truth For Your Type Eight: Eights have a lot of energy, so they frequetly get this message from the world, and they internalize it. You can help by being a safe place for them to be their full selves.
- Type Nine: My voice doesnt matter as much as other people’s do.
- Truth For Your Type Nine: Help your spouse realize that their voice matters, because they matter, to others and to God. You can help your partner realize that they matter by validating their opinions, seeking their insight, and applauding their. efforts to speak up.
- Type One: If I’m not perfect, I’m not good at all.
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Meet Dani Cooper:
Dani Cooper is a Certified Enneagram Teacher and Coach for individuals, couples and teams. She is the author of a new book, The Enneagram For Christian Couples.
When she is not studying or teaching the Enneagram, you’ll find her outside gardening and exploring nature with her husband and three kids.
She is passionate about encouraging others to get on the road to self-discovery, and believes that only as we begin to understand ourselves, can we begin to truly love and care for the people in our lives and grow in our relationship with God and the world around us.
Dani finds great joy in guiding others into the deep waters of their own hearts connecting with and encouraging people worldwide through social media, personal and couples coaching and interactive workshops. You can connect with her on Instagram @deepwatersennneagram or via her website: www.deepwatersenneagram.com.
