146: Healthy Habits To Teach Your Kids Who Worry A Lot with Dr. Josh Straub
Research shows that worry has a trickle-down effect from parent to child. Thus, it’s important that parents learn how to manage their worries so that they can cultivate a more peaceful environment for their children. It is possible to give your children (both young and older) the tools for coping with worry and the ability to think differently about the problems and challenges they encounter in the world around them.
In episode 146, Daniel and Christina interview Dr. Josh Straub about what tools to teach our kids to help them manage their worry and trust God. We can all choose to be brave and live free even when we worry. Here’s how to do it.
“I’m freaking out!”
Hands up if you have ever felt worried? Goodness gracious, if we had one hundred hands, all of them would be up right now. These past two years have brought up a lot of events and situations to potentially worry about that we didn’t even know we could worry about! We had no idea that we could freak out so badly about our child eating a snack without first using hand sanitizer after playing at the park. Like, really? Where did this anxiety come from?! This is not us.
Where did this anxiety come from?!
Perhaps you’ve been asking the same questions of yourself: Where did this anxiety come from? And maybe you are noticing a few reactions that your children are having to situations and you are thinking, “What is happening? This is not how they would usually act or respond. This is not them.”
We are so thankful to be joined today by Dr. Josh Straub author, speaker, and co-leader with his wife, Christi of Famous at Home, a company equipping leaders and corporations in emotional intelligence and healthy family systems. Along with his wife, Josh co-wrote the book, What Do I Do With Worry, a delightful children’s book that helps parents and children alike understand where worry comes from and what to do with it.
This book couldn’t have come at a better time for our family. Earlier this year when we were about to take a trip to see Daniel’s dad in the hospital, we were all feeling apprehensive about his health. Well, one of our daughters, who is a natural worrier, needed to do a quick book report for her class. She picked up this book and based her book report on it. In God’s kindness, He was giving her the tools of what to do with her “what-ifs” and the language to be able to express her overwhelming feelings about the possibility of losing her grandfather to cancer.
Perhaps this is the tool that your family needs too. Let’s listen in:
In This Episode, You’ll Hear About:
- The similarities and differences between fear, worry, and anxiety
- Is worrying genetic? Can worry be passed down to your kids?
- Practical tools parents can use to help their child who tends to worry a lot
- Key signs that your child may benefit from professional help
- Today’s Tool: A grounding exercise to help with worry
Resources Mentioned In This EPisode:
- Grab a copy of Dr. Josh’s newest book, What Do I Do With Worry?
- Help your children process what they are feeling by reading What Am I Feeling? by Dr. Josh and Christi Straub
- Check out Dr. Josh’s podcast, co-hosted with his wife: Famous At Home
- Read The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body In The healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk
- Listen to The Parents’ Guide To Navigating Tough Conversations With Your Kids with Jimmy and Kristen Scroggins
- Daniel and Christina go to marriage counseling. Join us for a sneak-peek of what a counseling session looks, feels, and sounds like. Tune into 3 Clear Signs You Need Couples Counseling with Monica DiCristina
Quotes and Tweets:
- Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7
- Gratitude and anxiety cannot co-exist in the brain. @joshuastraub
- How much do we allow worry to influence our brain? How much do we allow worry to influence our soul? @joshuastraub
- Let’s teach our kids that it is normal to worry. And then let’s teach them some tools that they can use to stop that worry. @joshuastraub
- We should be showing our kids that we worry too, but the mistake that we can make is putting our unresolved fear on our kids as though they are the ones that they need to carry it. Instead, talk to them about being scared and have a plan about how you are going to show them that you are putting your brave on and stepping into that fear. @joshuastraub
- Almost every worry starts with a “what if” question. @joshuastraub
- When you suppress negative emotion or uncomfortable feelings, you also drown out the positive. @joshuastraub
- True emotional health has a wide range of emotions. You are able to self soothe and are able to step into joy on the other side. @joshuastraub
- As parents, we are the main students of our kids. If something feels off with your kids, pray about it, pray through it, and start to pay attention. Look for patterns and think about when your child’s behaviour changed. Look for significant life events that may have occured. @joshuastraub
- One of the biggest mistakes parents can make is minimizing, dismissing or punshing your child’s emotions. @joshuastraub
- When we have permission to name our worry and either speak it aloud or draw it on paper, our worry is much less crippling than the power we gave to it flapping in our minds. @joshuastraub
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Today’s Tool: If you’re feeling anxious, GrounD yourselF
Worries are not exclusive to our children. As parents, we have to be honest with ourselves about how we possibly project our own worries onto our kids. One of the greatest tools we can give our children in helping them deal with worry is learning how to manage it ourselves.
This 5 step exercise can be very helpful during periods of anxiety or panic by helping to ground you in the present when your mind is bouncing between various “what ifs.” Psychologists call this, anticipatory grief.
Anticipatory grief is the mind going to the future and imagining the worst. Anyone else experience this? Yup, us too. The key is to be present in the moment instead of living in the land of “what ifs.” But, let’s be honest, sometimes that’s easier said than done.
So, if you are feeling anxious, try this exercise. (found at 51:11 in the episode)
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Meet Dr. Josh Straub
Josh Straub is most renowned for his role as a husband and dad. He is also a recovering human, an ongoing journey that includes therapy, coaching, a tight-knit faith community, and staying fit.
On stage, Josh is a speaker, author, marriage and leadership coach, and podcast and TV cohost. He and his wife, Christi, lead Famous at Home, a company equipping leaders and corporations in emotional intelligence and healthy family systems.
Josh is also a Fellow of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling. Josh most enjoys coaching leaders to be famous at home so they can thrive on their stage. He also speaks regularly for Joint Special Operations Command and serves military families across the country.
Josh is the author/co-author of six books including Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love and Lead Well. He and his wife, Christi, host the Famous at Home podcast and co-wrote two children’s books, to help parents foster emotional awareness in kids, called What Am I Feeling? and What Do I Do with Worry?.
