When the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve, many of us breathed a sigh of relief. Finally…2020 is over! Kiss me, we survived! What many of us may have not done is talk about how the last year has been because how do you put into words what 2020 has done to us? In many ways, 2020 has been traumatizing. What was is no longer what is. That much change in such a short period of time is exhausting and unnerving.
Many times the new year offers us the chance of a “do-over”. What we didn’t like about the previous year is what we hopefully won’t bring into the new year. However, this year when we realize that what we wanted to leave in 2020 is most likely sliding in through the door of 2021, it’s really important that we take the time to check-in with one another.
That’s why in Episode 128, we want to walk you through how to do a new year’s relationship check-in and help you carve out the space to think through what relationship resolutions you may want to make for 2021.
Take The Relationship Check-in Quiz:
Take this relationship quiz with your spouse. Within minutes, you will immediately see the strengths of your relationship and also the areas of growth that you can focus on this year. We know this is going to be a great asset in building a strong, connected, and joy-filled marriage.
In This Episode, You Will Hear About:
- We will give you a step-by-step guide on how to do a New Year’s relationship check-in.
- We’ll help you carve out the space to think through what relationship resolutions you may want to make for 2021.
- We’ll give you the opportunity to consider the highlights of the last year – to acknowledge the pain but also point out the silver linings.
- We will explain why it is important to revisit some of last year’s tough conversations without the heat of the moment clouding your vision.
- Find out how the Magic Ratio of 5:1 is the key to handling both the positive and negative feelings of your relationship.
Resources Mentioned During the Episode:
- Listen to last week’s episode about The 7 Lessons Learned From A Year That Didn’t Go As Planned
- Listen to our previous episodes about The Marriage Story: 6 Relationship Lessons From The Netflix Movie The Marriage Story Part 1 and Part 2
- To hear more about what bids are, what it means to reject a repair attempt by your spouse, or find out if you are using The 4 Horsemen in your relationship (hint…that’s not a good thing), listen to our previous episodes:
- Read Why Won’t You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Every Day Hurts by Harriet Lerner to learn more about how to apologize in a meaningful way.
Quotes and Tweets:
- Your relationship with your spouse is capable of handling both the negative and the positive feelings even if they are being shown at the same time. The key is to stay above, what John Gottman calls, the Magic Ratio of 5:1. @imbetweenshow
- Why should you do a relationship check-in? Because it gives you the opportunity to consider the highlights of the last year – to acknowledge the pain but also point out the silver linings. @imbetweenshow
- Why should you do a relationship check-in? Because it gives you the space to revisit some tough conversations without the heat of the moment or stress clouding your vision. @imbetweenshow
- Take the time to tell your spouse what you like about them. Validation and encouragement go an incredibly long way in connecting with one another. @imbetweenshow
- Sometimes, we forget to highlight the good because the struggles just shout louder, especially in a time of crisis. So, even if it feels awkward to talk about what you like about your spouse, please do it. @imbetweenshow
- Take some time this week to share your favorite moments of 2020. This discussion may lead to y’all having a better idea of what you want your couple’s New Year’s resolutions to be. @imbetweenshow
- Remember that it’s normal to have had both highs and lows during your year as a couple…especially during this unprecedented year. What matters most is how you both tell the story of your relationship. @imbetweenshow
- We hope that this year you will resolve to speak about your marriage, to keep the things that work, and to get rid of the things that don’t. @imbetweenshow
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