107: Help! We Have a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley

July 6, 2020

Do you feel like you have a sexless marriage? You are not alone and there is hope. In Episode 107, Daniel and Christina interview Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley about what triggers sexual inactivity in a marriage, what to do if there is a mismatch in the desire for sex, and some practical steps you can take to resurrect your sex life.

Sex Conversation Questions for Couples:

Here are 6 sex conversation starter questions for you and your spouse

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

God’s design for sex and how sex is not just about serving your spouse
What triggers sexual inactivity in a marriage
What to do if there is a mismatch in the desire for sex
Practical steps you can take to resurrect your sex life

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

To find out more about Dr. Greg and Erin, go to Focus On The Family
Pick up a copy of the Smalley’s newest book, Reconnected: Moving From Roommates to Soulmates in Marriage
What If You Desire Sex More Than Your Husband Does? An article by Erin Smalley
Will Porn Ruin My Marriage? An interview with Dr. Simon Sheh
How To Strengthen Your Marriage in 15 Minutes An Interview with Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey
Keeping The Romance Alive

Quotes and Tweets:

Do it often in a way that feels good to both of you. @DrGregandErin
When there are problems in the bedroom, couples experience a profound level of dissatisfaction in the marriage. @DrGregandErin
According to the more than 800,000 individuals that have completed the Focus on Marriage assessment, sex is the top marriage struggle. The most common issue for couples is a mismatch in desire. @DrGregandErin
Although the definition isn’t the same for every couple, the experts define a sexless marriage as having intercourse fewer than ten times a year, which impacts about 15 to 20 percent of couples. @DrGregandErin
Your sexual relationship can be resurrected. There is always hope. We serve an amazing God who is passionate about sex. Status quo in the bedroom doesn’t have to be your reality any longer. You can revitalize your sexual intimacy. @DrGregandErin
You may feel angry or humiliated for being rejected sexually by your spouse. Maybe sex has always been absent in your marriage. Instead of punishing your spouse, reach out in tender compassion. But tender compassion will only happen if your heart is open. @DrGregandErin
A lack of sexual initiation or responsiveness is usually a symptom of a deeper problem. If sex is missing from your marriage, discover why. If you don’t want sex, investigate what’s going on for you. @DrGregandErin

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Meet Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley:

Dr. Greg Smalley serves as the vice president of Marriage at Focus on the Family. In this role, he develops and oversees initiatives that prepare individuals for marriage, strengthen and nurture existing marriages and help couples in marital crises. Erin Smalley serves as a strategic marriage spokesperson for Focus on the Family’s marriage ministry, where she develops content for the marriage department. Erin is also an author and conference speaker. She presents with her husband, Dr. Greg Smalley, at marriage enrichment seminars where they guide couples in taking steps toward enjoying deeply satisfying marriages. In their latest book, Reconnected: Moving From Roommates to Soulmates in Marriage, Dr. Greg and counsellor Erin Smalley offer practical ways to rekindle the passionate, intimate, heart-to-heart spark of connection between husbands and wives.