We were recently asked about what advice we would give to younger couples, and so that’s what we want to unpack today. If we were to write a congratulations card to your wedding or sit down together to chat with you about those first precious years of your marriage, here’s what we would say…
In This Episode, You’ll Hear About:
- The vertical and horizontal aspects of your marriage
- Why it’s essential to learn new tools to invest in your relationship
- Difficult seasons in your marriage are normal, and how to survive them
- What to do if sex is painful or not what you expected
- The reason why we need to be aware of the spiritual battle that we are in
Resources Mentioned IN This Episode:
- To learn more about the acronym HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), listen to 4 Ways To Stick Together When You Feel Bored, Irritated, or Frustrated With Your Spouse
- Hear more about the vertical aspect of marriage in Episode 61: I Think I’ve Married The Wrong Person with Dave and Ann Wilson
- Vertical Marriage: The One Secret That Will Change Your Marriage by Dave and Ann Wilson
- Check out FamilyLife’s Weekend To Remember Events in Canada and the USA. We are speaking on April 28-30, 2023, in Lake Louise, AB. Join us if you can!
- If you’re looking for an incredible read-aloud with your kids or a series to get lost in, check out Andrew Peterson’s Wing Feather Saga
- Past episodes about sex and intimacy: Sex After Parenthood with Sheila Wray Gregoire and Help! We Have A Sexless Marriage with Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley
- Recommended books about sex:
Quotes and Tweets:
- To be a Christian with sexual integrity means to give God complete permission to redeem, heal, awaken, and transform the good gift of sex in your marriage. – @drjulislattery
- Commit to showing each other grace and understanding in a possible triggering area of marriage. Commit to growing together in all aspects of intimacy with patience and kindness. Commit to praying about your sex life. @imbetweenshow
- Love is not grown in the grand gestures; it is grown in the seemingly small and meaningless actions. – @gottmanInst
Scripture references Mentioned In This Episode:
Questions For Personal Reflection:
- What do you wish you knew about marriage/sex before you got married?
- How has your understanding of marriage changed over the months/years?
- Is there a skill you’d like to learn to strengthen your marriage? (Ex: listening, empathy, humility, emotional attachment, conflict resolution, sexual intimacy, forgiveness, gratefulness, etc…)
Discussion Prompts For You As A Couple:
- What relationship advice would you give to a younger couple?
- Do you agree with this quote by Dr. Juli Slattery? “You don’t come to your marriage bed with a blank slate. You come with expectations, fears, secrets, shame, and an unspoken understanding of what “good sex” should look like.
- Are there any expectations about sex that you haven’t told me?
- What is your definition of “good sex”?
- Is there a past fight we’ve had that you can now recognize as a spiritual battle?
