158: 4 Ways To Stick Together When You Feel Bored, Irritated, or Frustrated with your Spouse

Sometimes our spouse can feel like our best friend. And, other times, they can drive us crazy! In episode 158, we want to give you four ways to stick together when you feel bored, irritated, or frustrated with your spouse.

In This Episode, You’ll Hear About:

• 4 ways to stick together when you feel bored, irritated, or frustrated with your spouse
  1. Start with yourself
  2. Turn toward each other instead of away
  3. Remember the acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)
  4. Learn to ask: what is my part in this?
• Why “name it to tame it” is so helpful
• How emotions are roadmaps and not fact
• The importance of bids and turning toward your spouse to invest in your relationship
• The difference between marriage masters and marriage disasters

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Ep: 95 4 Keys To Surviving Marital Stress
• Ep: 106 A Conflict-Free Marriage Is Not The Goal
• Ep: 114 How To Fight With Your Spouse Without Ruining Your Marriage
• Ep: 128 How To Do A Relationship Check-In
• Ep 142: 4 Simple Ways To Reconnect With Your Spouse When You Are Feeling Disconnected

Quotes And Tweets:

• While naming emotions and how you feel is healthy and needed, one vital point is that emotions are not facts. Just because you feel bored with your spouse doesn’t mean they are boring. And just because you feel frustrated with your spouse doesn’t make them frustrating. – @imbetweenshow

• Think of emotions as essential roadmaps. They are pointing out what is happening within us and around us. So, take the time to be able to read your emotional roadmaps. What is happening in you and around you? –  @imbetweenshow

• Here is an excellent framework to remember when making decisions: Don’t make permanent decisions when you’re HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired). – @imbetweenshow

Scripture References Mentioned In This Episode:

• Psalm 139_23-24

Questions For Personal Reflection When You’re Feeling bored/irritated/frustrated with your spouse:

Instead of pointing out all the ways your spouse is coming up short, take the time and energy to acknowledge the feelings within yourself and stay curious. Ask yourself these questions, write them in a journal, or record yourself talking. The point of taking notes is to go back and process what you’ve written or recorded.

• What am I feeling?
• Why am I feeling this way?
• Has anything happened in the last few days, weeks, or months that has made me feel like this?
• Am I HALT? (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)
• Is there a pattern in what is going on in my life and how I am feeling?

Discussion Prompts For You As A Couple:

We often listen to a podcast but never apply what we’ve learned. We want to help you and your spouse grow together by talking and discussing essential topics based on the episode you listened to. This is your sign to plan a date night and enjoy each other’s company.

• How do you think we can turn toward each other more instead of away?
• Are there any situations in your life where remembering HALT would be helpful?
• How have you changed in the last year?
• What do you need right now in a friend?