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Episodes / Interviews / Marriage

154: Practical Ways To Have a Healthier Relationship with Your Mother-In-Law or Daughter-In-Law with Barbara and Stacy Reaoch

March 7, 2022

Whether you’re a bride-to-be, a mother-in-law-to-be, or a woman who has been braving the in-law relationship for decades, every daughter-in-law and mother-in-law needs help navigating their relationship sometimes. In Episode 154, we chat with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law duo, Barbara and Stacy Reaoch, about practical ways the in-law relationship can genuinely thrive in the midst of difficulty.

Book | Barbara Reaoch Website | Stacy reaoch Website

Enter Our Book Giveaway!

We wanted to let you know about an exciting giveaway we are doing on Instagram! We are giving away 3 copies of the Making Room For Her: Biblical Wisdom for a Healthier Relationship with Your Mother-In-Law or Daughter-In-Law. If you have a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law, this book is a must! To find out how to enter, go to our Instagram account @imbetweenshow

In This Episode, You’Ll Hear About:

  • What the Biblical term, “Leave and cleave” means and how to practice this Biblical principle while still honouring your parents.
  • Practical steps for making peace with your in-law (even if you don’t agree with them).
  • How the son or father-in-law can help foster a loving and caring relationship between mother and daughter-in-law.
  • Words of encouragement for those who are feeling helpless and hopeless about their in-law relationship.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

  • Barbara and Stacy’s book, Making Room For Her: Biblical Wisdom for a Healthier Relationship with Your Mother-In-Law or Daughter-In-Law
  • Listen to our previous podcast episodes about the in-law relationship:
    • How To Not Hate Your In-Laws
    • Learning To Love Your In-Laws (part 1)
    • Learning To Love Your In-Laws (part 2)

Quotes and Tweets:

  • Just because we are all Christians, doesn’t mean that we will see everything eye-to-eye. – Stacy Reaoch
  • Don’t consider the differences as a threat. Consider them as a gift because the differences can strengthen your relationship in the long run. – Barb Reaoch 
  • Over time, I would come to see my daughter-in-law as a sister in Christ and continue to love her more and more, knowing that these differences are God’s gift working out more Christ-like qualities in me. – Barb Reaoch
  • There’s a settledness in my heart that my daughter-in-law is family. We are family together and I am committed to loving and relating well to her. At the same time, recognizing that we are two different people. – Barb Reaoch
  • What I wish I had known then is that my role as a mother-in-law is to listen and to show respect and value for this young woman, for this newly married couple. They are setting their priorities for their family and I’m the support team to that. I’m to come along and help carry the burdens that they have…not place more burdens on her. – Barb Reaoch
  • Take an interest in your mother-in-law. How can you come alongside her and enjoy some of the things she enjoys? Be a student of your mother-in-law and look for ways that you can show love to her. Trust that God can change people and ultimately He is going to change you. – Stacy Reaoch
  • Mother-in-laws: be sure you are cleaving well to your husband. Ensure that you aren’t gossiping about your daughter-in-law to him. Instead, focus on your love relationship as a couple and grow closer together and God in this phase of your lives. – Barb Reaoch
  • Mother-in-laws: Love her [daughter-in-law] first. And God will build that habit of love in your heart that will pull your feelings along in time. True hope doesn’t come from our changed circumstances; true hope comes from God. Remember that He is mostly concerned with your relationship with Him. He will use even disappointment and heartache to strengthen your love for Him. – Barb Reaoch

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Meet Barbara And Stacy Reaoch:

Barbara Reaoch, the author of A Better Than Anything Christmas (2020), is the former director of the children’s division at Bible Study Fellowship International. Her home is Minneapolis, Minn., with her husband Ron. Prior to her role at BSF, Barbara and Ron lived in Cape Town, South Africa, to teach Bible Study Fellowship classes. They also worked with the Rafiki Foundation to train young women in job and life skills. You can connect with her at www.barbarareaoch.com.

Stacy Reaoch is a pastor’s wife, mother of four, and the author of Wilderness Wanderings: Finding Contentment in the Desert Times of Life. She has written for various ministries including Desiring God, The Gospel Coalition, and Revive Our Hearts. Stacy and her husband, Ben, (Barbara’s son) live in Pittsburgh, Penn., with their children. You can find more about Stacy and her writings at www.stacyreaoch.com.

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Daniel and Christina Im

We’re Daniel and Christina Im. Our heart’s desire and mission is to give you the tools to build a strong, connected, and joy-filled marriage and family.

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Did you know that despite growing awareness of mental health, anxiety and depression rates in children and adolescents have sharply risen? 

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Just like a garden needs the right conditions to thrive, so do our minds. It’s about adjusting our surroundings to create supportive spaces for everyone, especially our kids. 🌱📘 

Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or by going to https://imbetween.org/episode196/

#MentalHealth #Overstimulation #Parenting
•
Follow
Did you know that despite growing awareness of mental health, anxiety and depression rates in children and adolescents have sharply risen? In episode 196 of the @imbetweenshow podcast, @sarahboyd, author of Turn Down the Noise, discusses how overstimulation in our environment could be a key factor. Just like a garden needs the right conditions to thrive, so do our minds. It’s about adjusting our surroundings to create supportive spaces for everyone, especially our kids. 🌱📘 Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or by going to https://imbetween.org/episode196/ #MentalHealth #Overstimulation #Parenting
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Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
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V started high school today, A entered her last year of middle school, and M began his last year of elementary. Not sure how we have kids this old @danielsangi 😂

Luna was sad to be home all alone after a summer full of cuddles from the kids.
V started high school today, A entered her last year of middle school, and M began his last year of elementary. Not sure how we have kids this old @danielsangi 😂

Luna was sad to be home all alone after a summer full of cuddles from the kids.
V started high school today, A entered her last year of middle school, and M began his last year of elementary. Not sure how we have kids this old @danielsangi 😂

Luna was sad to be home all alone after a summer full of cuddles from the kids.
•
Follow
V started high school today, A entered her last year of middle school, and M began his last year of elementary. Not sure how we have kids this old @danielsangi 😂 Luna was sad to be home all alone after a summer full of cuddles from the kids.
2 months ago
View on Instagram |
5/6
Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. You all represent different times and aspects of my life made all the more meaningful and brighter because of your presence. 

My 40s started off with me doing some pretty deep healing, learning to dream again, learning my limits, learning how to say no, learning to ask for what I needed, and learning to listen to my body. It has been a bumpy and beautiful journey.

8 weeks ago, I felt my body start to crave running again. Since my concussion 6 years ago, I haven’t been able to run without it resulting in a massive migraine. Running was not only something I no longer enjoyed, it was an activity that caused me deep pain. I was quite surprised when I felt this urge to run, but I’ve learned to listen to my body. I also knew it had been a LONG time since my feet had hit the pavement in a speed faster than a walk, so I needed to take it slow. I also needed to re-learn how to run. 

I started the Peloton run outdoors program. My first run outdoors was a bit chaotic and quite humorous; I felt completely out of my element and could only run 2 minutes without needing to walk. But, what I would have previously labelled “embarrassing” (which would have led me to quit), felt more like I was honouring what my body was signalling to me. I did not have a headache and it felt good. 

Fast forward 2 months and I finished my Peloton running outdoors program today where I ran 30 minutes straight without walking or stopping…a huge accomplishment as compared to day one. I think I will always be learning how to love and accept my body, but today, I rejoice that I am one step closer.
Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. You all represent different times and aspects of my life made all the more meaningful and brighter because of your presence. 

My 40s started off with me doing some pretty deep healing, learning to dream again, learning my limits, learning how to say no, learning to ask for what I needed, and learning to listen to my body. It has been a bumpy and beautiful journey.

8 weeks ago, I felt my body start to crave running again. Since my concussion 6 years ago, I haven’t been able to run without it resulting in a massive migraine. Running was not only something I no longer enjoyed, it was an activity that caused me deep pain. I was quite surprised when I felt this urge to run, but I’ve learned to listen to my body. I also knew it had been a LONG time since my feet had hit the pavement in a speed faster than a walk, so I needed to take it slow. I also needed to re-learn how to run. 

I started the Peloton run outdoors program. My first run outdoors was a bit chaotic and quite humorous; I felt completely out of my element and could only run 2 minutes without needing to walk. But, what I would have previously labelled “embarrassing” (which would have led me to quit), felt more like I was honouring what my body was signalling to me. I did not have a headache and it felt good. 

Fast forward 2 months and I finished my Peloton running outdoors program today where I ran 30 minutes straight without walking or stopping…a huge accomplishment as compared to day one. I think I will always be learning how to love and accept my body, but today, I rejoice that I am one step closer.
•
Follow
Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. You all represent different times and aspects of my life made all the more meaningful and brighter because of your presence. My 40s started off with me doing some pretty deep healing, learning to dream again, learning my limits, learning how to say no, learning to ask for what I needed, and learning to listen to my body. It has been a bumpy and beautiful journey. 8 weeks ago, I felt my body start to crave running again. Since my concussion 6 years ago, I haven’t been able to run without it resulting in a massive migraine. Running was not only something I no longer enjoyed, it was an activity that caused me deep pain. I was quite surprised when I felt this urge to run, but I’ve learned to listen to my body. I also knew it had been a LONG time since my feet had hit the pavement in a speed faster than a walk, so I needed to take it slow. I also needed to re-learn how to run. I started the Peloton run outdoors program. My first run outdoors was a bit chaotic and quite humorous; I felt completely out of my element and could only run 2 minutes without needing to walk. But, what I would have previously labelled “embarrassing” (which would have led me to quit), felt more like I was honouring what my body was signalling to me. I did not have a headache and it felt good. Fast forward 2 months and I finished my Peloton running outdoors program today where I ran 30 minutes straight without walking or stopping…a huge accomplishment as compared to day one. I think I will always be learning how to love and accept my body, but today, I rejoice that I am one step closer.
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@imbetweenshow

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Hello Instagram

Did you know that despite growing awareness of mental health, anxiety and depression rates in children and adolescents have sharply risen? 

In episode 196 of the @imbetweenshow podcast, @sarahboyd, author of Turn Down the Noise, discusses how overstimulation in our environment could be a key factor. 

Just like a garden needs the right conditions to thrive, so do our minds. It’s about adjusting our surroundings to create supportive spaces for everyone, especially our kids. 🌱📘 

Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or by going to https://imbetween.org/episode196/

#MentalHealth #Overstimulation #Parenting
•
Follow
Did you know that despite growing awareness of mental health, anxiety and depression rates in children and adolescents have sharply risen? In episode 196 of the @imbetweenshow podcast, @sarahboyd, author of Turn Down the Noise, discusses how overstimulation in our environment could be a key factor. Just like a garden needs the right conditions to thrive, so do our minds. It’s about adjusting our surroundings to create supportive spaces for everyone, especially our kids. 🌱📘 Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or by going to https://imbetween.org/episode196/ #MentalHealth #Overstimulation #Parenting
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
1/5
Ever feel like an imposter in your own life? @cassandralspeer shares her struggles with imposter syndrome. On episode 195 of the IMbetween Podcast, we delved into how these feelings of inadequacy can actually highlight our humility and dependence on God. It’s a poignant reminder that feeling unqualified doesn’t disqualify us from our purpose—it can be a step towards it.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts or at https://imbetween.org/epsiode195/
•
Follow
Ever feel like an imposter in your own life? @cassandralspeer shares her struggles with imposter syndrome. On episode 195 of the IMbetween Podcast, we delved into how these feelings of inadequacy can actually highlight our humility and dependence on God. It’s a poignant reminder that feeling unqualified doesn’t disqualify us from our purpose—it can be a step towards it. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or at https://imbetween.org/epsiode195/
4 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
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Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
•
Follow
Happy birthday to my bestest friend @danielsangi and the person who makes me laugh harder and louder than anyone else in this world. Life with you is more beautiful, whimsical, adventurous, full, and fun than I ever imagined. Today, we celebrate you and the gift your presence is to us. Love you forever!
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
3/5
🌟 Parenting Tip Alert! Ever find yourself overwhelmed by bursts of anger or frustration with your kids? You’re not alone. In our latest podcast episode, @aliciamichellecoach shares the ADD framework: Acknowledge, Discern, Decide. 

This three-step method helps parents navigate their emotions effectively. By understanding and validating our feelings, we can respond more thoughtfully to our children’s needs. Tune in to Episode 194 of the IMbetween Podcast (wherever you listen to your podcasts or at https://imbetween.org/episode194) for relatable stories and actionable advice on managing emotions in parenting.
•
Follow
🌟 Parenting Tip Alert! Ever find yourself overwhelmed by bursts of anger or frustration with your kids? You’re not alone. In our latest podcast episode, @aliciamichellecoach shares the ADD framework: Acknowledge, Discern, Decide. This three-step method helps parents navigate their emotions effectively. By understanding and validating our feelings, we can respond more thoughtfully to our children’s needs. Tune in to Episode 194 of the IMbetween Podcast (wherever you listen to your podcasts or at https://imbetween.org/episode194) for relatable stories and actionable advice on managing emotions in parenting.
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
4/5
V started high school today, A entered her last year of middle school, and M began his last year of elementary. Not sure how we have kids this old @danielsangi 😂

Luna was sad to be home all alone after a summer full of cuddles from the kids.
V started high school today, A entered her last year of middle school, and M began his last year of elementary. Not sure how we have kids this old @danielsangi 😂

Luna was sad to be home all alone after a summer full of cuddles from the kids.
V started high school today, A entered her last year of middle school, and M began his last year of elementary. Not sure how we have kids this old @danielsangi 😂

Luna was sad to be home all alone after a summer full of cuddles from the kids.
V started high school today, A entered her last year of middle school, and M began his last year of elementary. Not sure how we have kids this old @danielsangi 😂

Luna was sad to be home all alone after a summer full of cuddles from the kids.
•
Follow
V started high school today, A entered her last year of middle school, and M began his last year of elementary. Not sure how we have kids this old @danielsangi 😂 Luna was sad to be home all alone after a summer full of cuddles from the kids.
2 months ago
View on Instagram |
5/5
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