103: What Your Child Really Needs From You with Dr. Jeffrey and Amy Olrick

Our culture is obsessed with figuring out the “right” way to raise their children. But, what if the most important thing a parent needs to know for a thriving relationship is this: you and your child are made for connection.

In Episode 103, we interview Dr. Jeffrey and Amy Olrick about what your child really needs from you. The Orlicks invite parents to stop treating parenting as a job and to instead embrace it as a journey. They help parents integrate the science of connection with practical tools while using easy-to-understand language. They give parents permission to breathe and show us why it’s more important to be present than perfect.

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

• Why being a present parent is always better than being a perfect parent
• The 6 relationship needs your child has:
  • Delight
  • Support
  • Boundaries
  • Protection
  • Comfort
  • Equipping
• The importance of asking, “How shall I be with this person?” vs “What do I do with this person?”
• The difference between delight and pride in your child

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

• Pick up the Olricks’ new book:  The 6 Needs of Every Child: Empowering Parents and Kids Through The Science of Connection
• To find out more about Dr. Jeffrey and Amy Olrick, head to their website
• You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies About Work, Life, and Love
• Past episodes about the lies we believe:
  • The Lies We Believe About Ourselves
  • The Lies We Believe About Marriage
  • The Lies We Believe About Parenting
  • The Truth Will Set You Free

Quotes and Tweets:

• “Stop fearing the mess and the chaos of the moment and embrace a long view of parenting. Believing that parenting is a marathon and not a sprint encourages us to keep going and not to get stuck on the hard days or even the hard years. @amyolrick @jeffreyolrick
• “How shall I be with this person” is a two-way street question. It forces us to look not only at our child but at ourselves. When we explore this question, we learn that any issue we are trying to address with our kid likely has as much to do with us as it does with our child.” @amyolrick @jeffreyolrick
• “Your attachment system, shaped in you as a child, affects how you parent your own children now.” @amyolrick @jeffreyolrick
• “Delight communicates in subtle, crucial ways–I see you. And having seen you, I enjoy you. It is in this seeing and enjoying with unconditional love and acceptance that delight holds its unique power.” @amyolrick @jeffreyolrick
• “When you communicate delight to your child, even in small ways, your child feels it. Your delight gives her a sense of security in who she is and her relationship with you and the confidence to keep exploring and learning to master her world.” @amyolrick @jeffreyolrick
• “Delight builds a foundation for emotional and relational safety, and from that safety, our kids can explore and grow into their God-given talents and abilities.” @amyolrick @jeffreyolrick
• “Delight doesn’t guarantee any concrete outcomes but it is a hedge against the storms.” @amyolrick @jeffreyolrick

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Meet Dr. Jeffrey and Amy Olrick:

Jeffrey Olrick, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience who specializes in working with children and families. Amy Olrick is an author and a techie who has spent her professional life working with organizations to build social movements grounded in the ethic of love. Together, they run GrowingConnected.com, where they offer scientifically-grounded and faith-informed resources and support for parents.