86: Marriage: The Good, The Hard, and The Beautiful with Gary Thomas

February 10, 2020

Imagine what would happen if you stopped expecting your spouse to make you happy? What if you no longer believed that a good marriage is something you find, but rather it is something you work for? How would your relationship change if you embraced difficult times as a season of your marriage instead of an excuse to leave it?

In Episode 86, Daniel and Christina interview best selling author, Gary Thomas, about God’s beautiful design for marriage. Gary will help us stop highlighting where our spouse falls short and encourage us to focus on the divine mysteries of marriage and the lessons it has to teach us.

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

God’s design for marriage
What happens when we admit marriage is difficult
How our struggles in our marriage can be sacred
What we should do if we are not happy in our marriage

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

Grab your copy of Gary Thomas’ books, The Sacred Marriage and The Sacred Search
Check out Gary’s newest book When To Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People
Listen to our previous episode about Dating Your Spouse in Every Season of Life
Make sure to tun into Episode 76: 4 Things to Remember When Marriage is Hard

Quotables and Tweetables:

“What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” – @garyLthomas
“To spiritually benefit from marriage, we have to be honest. We have to look at our disappointments, own up to our ugly attitudes, and confront our selfishness.” @garyLthomas
“Romantic love has no elasticity to it. It can never be stretched; it simply shatters. Mature love, the kind demanded of a good marriage, must stretch, as the sinful human condition is such that all of us bear conflicting emotions.” @garyLthomas
“We can run from the challenges of marriage, or we can admit that every marriage presents these challenges and asks us to address them head on.” @garyLthomas
“It’s not holy instead of happy. Holiness preserves happiness.” @garyLthomas
“You are going to have good seasons, quiet seasons, and frustrating seasons in your marriage. But, you don’t define your marriage by any particular season.” @garyLthomas
“Marriage calls us to an entirely new and selfless life.” @garyLthomas
“Though marriage is an amazing institution that reflects God’s creative genius, when we want to get the largest portion of our life’s fulfillment from our relationship with our spouse, that’s asking too much. God didn’t design marriage to compete with himself but to point us to himself.” @garyLthomas
We preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling creator.” @garyLthomas

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Meet Gary Thomas:

Gary Thomas’ writing and speaking focuses on bringing people closer to Christ and closer to others. He is the author of 18 books that together have sold over a million and a half copies and have been translated into more than a dozen languages. These books include When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People; Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?, The Sacred Search: What If It’s Not About Who You Marry, but Why?, and the Gold Medallion award winner Authentic Faith. Gary holds a B.A. in English Literature from Western Washington University, an MA degree in systematic theology from Regent College (Vancouver, BC), and an honorary Doctor of Divinity degree from Western Seminary (Portland, OR). He serves on the teaching team (and as Writer in Residence) at Second Baptist Church, Houston—a congregation with six campuses and 70,000 members—and is an adjunct faculty member at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon and Houston Theological Seminary in Houston Texas. Gary’s speaking ministry has led him to speak in 49 states and nine different countries, and on numerous national television and radio programs, including multiple appearances on Focus on the Family and Family Life Today. Gary’s interviews on Focus on the Family have been chosen among the “Best of 2013,” “Best of 2014” and “Best of 2017.” Gary enjoys running in his spare time and has completed 14 marathons, including the Boston Marathon three times. He and his wife Lisa have been married for 35 years and they have three adult children and one precious granddaughter. Gary is active online through his website (www.garythomas.com), twitter (@garyLthomas) and Facebook (www.facebook.com/authorgarythomas)