174: Rebuilding Hope and Love: Navigating Marriage with a Spouse’s Porn Addiction with Dannah Gresh

In Episode 174,  Dannah Gresh shares her personal story of navigating her husband’s addiction to pornography in their marriage. She discusses the impact it had on their relationship and the importance of seeking help and support. Dannah emphasizes the role of faith and the Holy Spirit in the healing process, highlighting the need for God’s power in overcoming addiction. She also talks about the importance of forgiveness, trust, and the journey she and her husband took together to heal from the hurt and pain of infidelity.

In This Episode, You’ll Hear About:

1. The Power of Honesty and Accountability: Dannah’s emphasizes the importance of open discussions about struggles and establishing accountability. It’s crucial to prevent addiction from becoming a source of comfort.
2. The Role of Faith: Dannah’s shares a powerful moment of divine intervention that led them to seek help. She underscores the importance of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God in the healing process, believing that without them, traditional therapy has limited efficacy.
3. The Journey of Healing: Dannah’s story highlights the need for individual healing. She shares a powerful analogy about taking responsibility for her own healing, rather than relying solely on her husband.
4. The Impact on the Church: Dannah discusses the devastating impact of pornography on the church and the need for open dialogue. She believes the church should be a sanctuary where people can find freedom from addiction.
5. The Process of Rebuilding Trust: Dannah acknowledges that forgiveness and trust are interconnected but do not necessarily happen simultaneously. She uses the analogy of “putting cookies in the cookie jar” to describe the process of rebuilding trust through consistent actions and behaviors.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Happily Even After: Let God Redeem Your Marriage by Dannah Gresh
• Lies Girls Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free (Lies We Believe) by Dannah Gresh – https://amzn.to/3LQF0JX
• Dannah Gresh’s podcasts
• International Institute For Trauma and Addiction Professionals (for help finding a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist near you
• How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn with Dr. Simon Sheh
• Will Porn Ruin My Marriage? with Dr. Simon Sheh
• Porn-Proofing Your Child with Rosie Mackinney
• My Spouse is Addicted to Porn with Rosie Mackinney

Questions for Personal Reflection:

1. What are your initial thoughts and reactions to Dannah’s story about her husband’s struggle with pornography and their journey to redemption in their marriage? How do you think you would react if faced with a similar situation in your own relationship?
2. Dannah mentioned that many couples have their unique “happily even after” challenges. Can you think of any challenges that you’ve faced in your relationship that felt unique to you as a couple?
3. Dannah’s story highlights the importance of prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit. How do you incorporate prayer or spirituality into your own relationships, and do you believe it can guide decisions and actions? Have you ever experienced the guidance of faith in your relationship decisions?
4. Dannah mentioned the difference between recovery and redemption in a marriage. What do you think are the key distinctions between these two concepts, and which do you believe is more attainable in challenging situations? How do you define redemption in the context of your relationship?

Discussion Prompts For You As A Couple:

1. In the conversation, Dannah emphasized the importance of seeking help and not hiding from issues within a marriage. Do you agree with this perspective? Why or why not? How comfortable are you with seeking outside help or counselling when faced with challenges in your relationship?
2. Dannah talked about the role of faith and the power of God’s spirit in overcoming challenges. How do you think faith and spirituality can play a role in addressing difficulties within a marriage? Have you ever turned to your faith to navigate challenges together?
3. The discussion touches on the idea of accountability and seeking outside support. How do you think couples can establish healthy accountability in their relationships? Are there specific ways you can think of to hold each other accountable in your own relationship?
4. Dannah mentioned the concept of living lives of holiness and not tolerating certain behaviors. What are your thoughts on setting boundaries in a marriage and maintaining a standard of holiness? Are there specific boundaries you’ve set or would consider setting in your relationship?
5. What lessons or insights can we take away from this conversation about overcoming challenges in relationships and finding redemption even in difficult circumstances? How can you apply these lessons to your own relationship to strengthen it?

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Meet Dannah Gresh: