118: Adult Friendships 101: What They Didn’t Teach You In School

In This Episode, You Will Hear About:

• Why you may be feeling frustrated with your current relationships
• What relational intelligence is and why it matters
• The difference between doing things versus doing life with others
• The four categories of relationships:
  • Friends – individuals who are relational assets and not liabilities; a relationship where you can be your authentic self
  • Associates – a relationship where a common interest or intersecting schedules brings individuals together. The nature of the relationship is friendly, but there isn’t a desire to go deeper into the relationship or you don’t know enough about the person to really trust them.
  • Assignments – a trainee, a mentee, and/or advisee. It is a mentoring relationship where you are the mentor
  • Advisors – when an individual is mentoring you for a limited amount of time

Resources Mentioned During the Episode:

• Relational Intelligence: The People Skills You Need For The Life Of Purpose You Want by Dharius Daniels
• Why Friendship Still Matters
• Enneagram and Communication Styles
• Resolving Conflict with the Enneagram

Quotes and Tweets:

• Relational intelligence is the ability to discern if someone should be a part of our lives and what place they should occupy. While everyone should be loved appropriately and valued equally, it doesn’t mean that we should treat everyone the same. @DhariusDaniels
• Relating to people properly should not be confused with treating them equally. Although everyone is equally valuable, not everyone adds equal value to you. @DhariusDaniels
• If we put people in the wrong categories of our lives, it’s not just detrimental to me, but detrimental to them also. When misplacement happens, some relationships are destroyed that were salvageable. @DhariusDaniels
• Bottom line, they [friendships] are vessels for an enormous manifestation of God’s unconditional love for us. @DhariusDaniels
• It’s one thing to do things in life with somebody, but doing life with someone is a friend. @DhariusDaniels
• If we are frequently frustrated in our relationships, we must learn to see frustration as our friend. Frustration is an indication that some adjustments need to be made. @DhariusDaniels
• Frustration is also a result of failed expectations. In the context of relationships, it means we must discern whether we are expecting someone to give what they are incapable or unwilling to give. We will stay in frustration when we continually expect someone who belongs in a certain relational category to behave like they belong to another. @DhariusDaniels

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